We are currently interviewing for the perfect nursery practitioner to join us. These are some of the qualities on our list š
- To provide an unlimited supply of hugs whenever needed.
- To make every child feel wanted.
- To remain unfazed by strong smells.
- To remain unfazed by unrecognisable stains.
- To visibly relish a plastic meal of fried egg, banana and a can of baked beans whilst seated on the smallest chair youāve ever seen.
- To achieve the above whilst spotting learning opportunities in maths, literacy and social development.
- To make notes on individual childrenās learning at the same time asĀ removing glue from hair and leading a chorus of Five Currant Buns.
- To identify solitary gloves and socks and reunite with their small owners before hometime.
- Removing peas from nostrils.
- Superhero senses when your back is turned.
- Spotting strayĀ plastic cars inside the African Snail tank.
- To accurately assess nappy sizes whilst legs are flailing.
- A knowledge of Disney characters and their attendant songs is desirable.
- Discretion. The news of Mummyās baby in her tummy is best speedily forgotten until such times as Mummy announces it herself.
- Maths. Plus an aptitude forĀ counting rapidly-moving individuals several times an hour.
- English. You will also need the freakish ability to read stories upside down so everyone can see the pictures.
- Music and drama. Specifically, theĀ confidenceĀ to sing loudly at harvest festivals and Christmas concerts.
- Technology skills to include an awareness of rogue dinosaurs in CD-ROM compartment.
Most importantly of all, we are looking for someone who wants to have fun, so that work doesn’t feel like work!
To apply, please send your CV and covering letter to email@example.com